Gemma’s Blog – 20/05/2019

Many of you will know it was Brad’s birthday on Friday. I get really bad anxiety about waking up on his birthday without him there. I struggle because I am always In two minds, do I buy him a card and present or don’t I? What do I buy him? Should it be what he liked when he was 6 or should I try think what he would like now he is 8. The truth is what ever I decide will be the right thing and I always say this to my families I support.

I had planned to go away in a caravan as their children had a football tournament. They are the same age as Brad and I would of did that if he was here so that’s what I did.

We had a balloon release and sang happy birthday, I cried but I also smiled thinking that Brad would of loved it.

My emotions obviously got the better of me that night as I seemed to be very argumentative and by the end of the night was in a heap screaming with heart ache.

Unfortunately that is normal for me but I always know the next day will be better.

I got myself up and went to watch the football, I had a good weekend and Shotton colts won which was lovely to see them all happy.

This is just a glimpse of my life and my blog will talk about day to day things and how I cope with them.